Tips for trusting in a relationship can be difficult to come by. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with messages telling us to be suspicious of everyone and everything, it can be hard to know who or what to trust. But, if you’re in a relationship, there are some things you can do to build a foundation of trust. If you’re looking for tips on how to trust in a relationship, read on.
Show you care
If you are in a relationship, then you need to show your partner that you care. You can show your partner you care by paying attention to their feelings and what they are going through. Ask them how they are feeling and if they need any help. You can show your partner you care by doing things for them, such as making dinner for them when they come home from work.
Write thoughtful and thoughtful messages
Let’s face it—most people send messages that are brief, flippant, or just downright boring. And while it can be fun to send a funny text or an emoji from time to time, it doesn’t exactly evoke feelings of trust and love. To create a relationship full of trust, start by sending handwritten letters and messages. They’re a lot more personal, and they can be a great way to show your partner just how much you care.
Take the initiative
Do you know how many times I’ve heard a guy say “I can’t trust a girl who won’t tell me what she wants”? Of course, this isn’t how it works—if you can’t trust someone you don’t tell them what to do. If you don’t let your partner know what you want and need, they won’t know how to trust you either. And guess what? They’ll end up forcing you to do something you don’t want just to make you happy. That’s no way to build trust!
Do what you can
Even if you’re not the one to suggest it, be willing to do what your partner asks of you. If they’re the one who’s planning the date night, let them plan the date and the activities. If they’re the one who’s cooking, let them cook. The more you show your partner that you care and are willing to do whatever it takes to make them happy, the more they’re likely to do the same for you.
Don’t be sexual
When you can’t trust your partner, sexual interactions can feel manipulative and take you out of trust-building mode. Instead of being intimate, build sexual trust by focusing on non-sexual interactions. Be vulnerable by sharing your fears, your insecurities, your bad habits, and your joys. If you’re struggling to trust, your partner may have difficulty sharing intimate thoughts as well. Try to put your worries aside and focus on building a relationship that goes deeper than the sexual part of it.
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Avoid flirting
Flirting is fun, but it can put you in an emotionally vulnerable position if you don’t know if the other person is interested in you as a romantic partner or as a friend. If you want to keep things light and flirty, then make sure you keep your intentions clear and that you don’t cross any lines. Avoid flirting with coworkers, family members, friends, or neighbors. If you flirt with someone you’re attracted to, you run the risk of them being flattered by you or responding to the attraction in a way you don’t want. That goes for online and for any other form of flirting. It’s best to avoid flirting with anyone you aren’t attracted to and to be clear with people about your intentions.
Keep your distance
A romantic relationship and sex can be incredibly hot, but if you don’t feel safe and comfortable in your relationship, neither will you feel comfortable having sex. You can’t have sex if you’re not in the mood, and you definitely can’t have sex if your partner isn’t in the right mood either. So, while it may seem counterintuitive, giving your partner more space can actually help you both have better sex! It will take some time, but if you allow your partner to give you space and show you that they care about your feelings, you may be surprised at how much happier you are in your relationship and how much better sex you have.
Be mindful of your body language
Your body language is a clear and direct form of communication that tells your partner whether you are interested in them or not. If you are sending mixed signals, it can lead to confusion and frustration on their end. Be careful not to slouch, because it is a clear sign of disinterest. Be confident about your body and your sexuality and you will find a partner who is attracted to you for who you are.
Avoid heavy petting
We usually define heavy petting as genital contact. However, it also includes any sort of physical contact that feels sensual to you and your partner. Before you get intimate, make sure you and your partner can comfortably touch each other without being overly sexual. If your partner seems to be getting aroused too quickly, remind them of your boundaries and how you both feel and reassure them you still want to build a relationship and not rush things.
Don’t keep secrets
While it is normal to want to keep some aspects of your life private, it is important to learn how to share everything, including your feelings. Keeping secrets can lead to shame, anxiety, fear, anger, depression, and a sense of disconnection from your partner. If you have ever lived in secrecy, you know how damaging it can be. Let go of keeping secrets and learn how to be authentic with your partner.
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Keep your passwords secure
A good rule of thumb is to use a unique, strong and easy-to-remember password for each account. And if you’re not sure if your passwords are strong enough, use a password manager. This will allow you to create and store strong passwords for each account and access them with a single master password. Password managers will also help you keep your passwords safe if you share your computer with someone else or if your computer is stolen.
Don’t tell personal information online
It is important not to post intimate details about your relationship online, whether it is through social media or email. If you post sexual or romantic images or videos, your partner may feel pressured to continue the relationship, but their trust in you will likely be shaken. Even something as seemingly harmless as your favorite food can be a deal breaker in a relationship. If you have a very specific food that your partner absolutely cannot stand, it’s better not to even hint at it until the relationship is much stronger.
Don’t use public computers
If you are using a computer that is shared with others, you are bound to lose control of the information you divulge in a casual conversation. For example, if you are researching online about a topic of interest, you could end up divulging more than you want about what you learn. The same is often true of work-related information. You might not realize how much of your work you are willing to divulge to coworkers. A shared computer only adds to the complexity of keeping information between you and your partner private.
Always log out of social media
It doesn’t matter whether you’re on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter—if you’re using a social media site, be sure to log out of it every time you’re done using it. You never know what information you might unknowingly give away. Plus, you don’t want your account hacked. So, when you’re done, log out!
Protect your devices
If you’re worried that your partner may have access to your devices, set up a separate email account or two to use for private communications. This way, if your partner does gain access to your phone, they won’t be able to look through your personal messages. Or, if you’re worried about your partner looking at your social media accounts, restrict their access to certain accounts (Facebook, Instagram, etc.). You can also change the settings on your phone so only you can access your contacts and other personal information.
Don’t use sex to get what you want
While sex can be a great way to express love and to feel closer to your partner, it can also be used as a tool for manipulation. If you’re looking to get something from your partner—such as reassurance, love, or attention—don’t use sex as a way to get it. If you’re not comfortable with sex as a pleasuring activity, then don’t have it. This doesn’t mean that you have to abstain from sex, but it does mean that you need to communicate what you’re looking for, and what you don’t want, before you have sex.
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Do your research
Before you dive into the sexual part of your relationship, do some research about your partner. Explore what they like sexually and what they enjoy doing in bed. Knowing what your partner likes will definitely help you to give them what they want, and it will help you to feel more confident and aroused. You might even discover something you both love that you hadn’t even known about before being in a relationship with each other.
Be clear about what you want
Sometimes we have expectations for how our partners are going to act and how they’re going to treat us. Being honest about what you want allows your partner to know how you feel, and helps you both understand each other better. And when there’s a discrepancy between your expectations and what you’re getting, it’s much easier to talk about it. After all, no one likes feeling taken for granted!
Set boundaries
It’s essential to set boundaries in the beginning of a relationship to avoid confusion or frustration later on. Whether it’s setting a time frame for sex, or having conversations about what you want out of the relationship, having clear communication helps to avoid hurt feelings or confusion.
Communicate
A relationship is built on honesty and communication. When you can talk about your needs and what you want, you are more likely to get those needs met. When you can talk about what you don’t like and what you don’t want, you are less likely to be pushed around. And when you can talk about what has happened in the past and how it made you feel, you have a way to resolve those issues.
Don’t be a people-pleaser
This is one of the most common mistakes people make when it comes to building trust in a relationship. People-pleasers are those who do whatever others want to avoid conflict or make people happy. But in the process, they end up sacrificing their own needs and desires. This type of behavior is toxic in a relationship as it allows others to walk all over you, and your partner won’t stop until they get what they want. You need to learn how to set your own boundaries and stick to them, even if it means standing up to your partner or others around you. If you are a people-pleaser, you need to learn how to set boundaries and say “no” to others.
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Be authentic
One of the easiest ways to build trust is by being authentic with your partner. If you say what’s on your mind and do what you say you’re going to do, your partner will be more likely to trust you. If you try to act and talk like someone you’re not just to please your partner, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
Set boundaries
It can be really tempting to go beyond what you want or need in a relationship. To make sure you don’t compromise yourself, put down your defenses and ask your partner what they want and need in a relationship. Not only will setting boundaries show them you are willing to be vulnerable (which they may love you even more for), but it will also help you to know what you want and need and to work toward those goals. You can also practice setting boundaries by simply saying “no” when someone asks you to do something that goes outside of what you want or need.
Don’t be a doormat
Letting someone walk all over you will only motivate them to do it more. If you allow someone to treat you with disrespect, they’re going to feel like they can get away with it more often. It will also be harder for you to feel comfortable setting boundaries with them in the future because you’ll feel as if you’re always walking on eggshells. It’s important to stand up for yourself and to show others that you deserve better.
In conclusion, if you want to build a foundation of trust in your relationship, remember to be open and honest with your partner, communicate effectively, and be reliable and consistent in your actions. Trust takes time to build, but it is an essential ingredient in a lasting and healthy relationship.
